Day 68

I just skyped with my parents and I'm feeling a little weird. I don't know why. I've been trying to explain the way I feel to all sorts of people recently but I feel like no one actually understands. Maybe I don't even really understand. I'm bored, I'm frustrated, I'm confused. All the clarity that I found in Nepal, Europe has stolen. Who am I anymore anyway. I miss Asha. I don't think I'm unhappy, but I think my instincts are trying to tell me something. Where are you wolf woman?! I know you're somewhere deep inside. Please give me some direction, I need you so badly. Why do I feel so lost, without a purpose? I have only two days left here. I know I'll make it, of course I will. But what if Thailand doesn't give me all I hope it will. I am counting down the hours as if my savior were coming, but who knows if it will actually renew in me that harmonic life force of passionate adventure and discovery that I've been yearning for. Who in this infinite universe knows. I don't. All I can do is wait and see. "Go out in the woods, go out. If you don't go out in the woods, nothing will ever happen and your life will never begin." -Dr. Estes